Starting Over

It’s extremely hard to “put yourself out there” as they say, but I wanted to give a voice to those struggling with doing just that.  This has always been a struggle of mine, and I’m sure others have a hard time with it as well.

Growing up, I always clung to only a few people and built relationships with them.  I never really pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone and explore the things that truly mattered to ME. That was until my high school art teacher inspired me to be truly individual.

I hadn’t ever experienced the joy that art brought me.  I never even imagined I’d be good at expressing myself using art either.  Through all the little things I was learning, I slowly started to gain confidence in myself and realize there was an outlet for me to be my own individual self.  This was the greatest tool I’d ever been given…other than life, obviously.  (Thanks Mom.)

Throughout the years I’ve explored so many mediums of art: painting, drawing, tattoo & tattoo design, and most recently photography.  These have all brought me great joy, yet at the same time, offered extreme self doubt.  Being faced with expressing and conveying your biggest dreams and ideas can sometimes be heartbreaking. When something you’ve worked so hard for doesn’t come to life like you’d imagined, it can be easy to be your biggest critic.  There have been many times I’ve wanted to give up..that I HAVE given up.

After starting photography and realizing how much I loved it, unfortunately, all the equipment (and portfolio) I had been working so hard to create, was stolen.  At this point, I had lost all hope in myself for what my vision was.  I wasn’t inspired to create.

Somehow, there has always been a pull back to this self expression I was taught many years ago.  No matter how down I am, or how “over it” I become, I always find a reason to keep creating.

So, recently, I decided I was going to go after my vision once more and completely start over.  Being the anti-social, climb-under-my-blanket-and-watch-netflix type person I am, this has always been one of the most difficult aspects of pushing through. Creating relationships with others just like me.  As intimidating as it sounds, it has been the most empowering feeling I’ve ever experienced.

I can’t say that I have every piece of the puzzle together just yet, but I’m working on it.  At this point, I am extremely dedicated to getting closer to myself throughout this creative journey.  I hope you’ll follow along with me, and who knows, maybe you’ll be just as inspired.

If this truly sparked your interest, I’d love to hear from you to share our experiences. xpressionsbyapril@gmail.com – xpressionsbyapril.com – facebook – instagram

xoxo – April

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